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| Nandy Agustin Syakarofath, S.Psi., M.A., Psychology Lecturer at UMM (Photo: Special) |
One of the roles of a father is to provide for the family. With increasing mobility and the presence of various professions, the father figure at home may feel lacking, leading to reduced emotional bonds between fathers and children. Nandy Agustin Syakarofath, S.Psi., M.A., a Psychology Lecturer at the University of Muhammadiyah Malang, explained that this could be one of the causes of children experiencing "father hunger."
Father hunger is a condition where a child feels psychological pressure due to the absence of a father figure, whether due to death, divorce, or the dysfunctional role of the father in parenting. As a result, children may resort to physical or psychological violence. Previous research has indicated that a father's involvement in the household can contribute to creating a resilient family. Resilience, in this context, means enabling each individual to overcome various challenges.
"If the opposite occurs, the family will become vulnerable, and may even contribute to various psychological issues faced by each member, including the wife and children," Nandy said.
In essence, parents have three main functions that must be provided to their children: nurture, care, and love. Nurture means providing life guidance or teaching so that children are trained and equipped with clear skills and goals. Care involves meeting the basic needs of a human to receive love from their closest ones, which can be felt through physical and emotional contact. Meanwhile, love involves fulfilling the needs of life by accompanying children's growth until adulthood and beyond. For example, providing food, clothing, shelter, education, and adequate facilities for children to feel safe and comfortable.
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If these three functions or roles are not provided by either the father or mother, children may experience various problems or mental health issues, such as emotional problems, behavioural issues, peer conflicts, hyperactivity, and prosocial behaviour problems. "Children may even experience anxiety, depression, or suicide. So both fathers and mothers have equally important positions in the family, especially for their children," she explained.
Therefore, Nandy provides several tips to prevent the negative effects of father hunger. First, prospective fathers and mothers must be physically and mentally prepared, with careful consideration, when deciding to marry. Marriage is the beginning of a new chapter in life with new roles and functions, along with its accompanying problems. Being adequately prepared to sustain married life is crucial.
Second, learn about parenting or ways to strengthen the family to become resilient. Third, wives who are left by their husbands, whether through divorce or death, maximize nurturing, caring, and loving towards their children so that their basic needs are fulfilled.
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"Generally, the most difficult function for women in such conditions is nurturing. Especially if they are not financially independent. So, even though they are married, there is no harm in women having their income," she emphasized.
The final tip is for children to develop both soft and hard skills needed in everyday life. Additionally, they should optimize their potential to have the ability to adapt to various difficult situations. "However, not all stress or life problems are negative. To some extent, stress is needed by humans to enhance skills in dealing with various life problems," she concluded. (dev/wil/fajr)
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