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| Contemporary Family Talkshow by Islamic Family Law Study Program (HKI). (Photo: Haqi Public Relation) |
The family is not only led by a father as well as educational matters, which are not only a burden on the mother. But both must work hand in hand to build a sakinah mawaddah warahmah family. This was stated by Prof. Alimatul Qibtiyah, S.Ag., M.Sc., P.hD. in a Contemporary Family Talkshow. The event was organized by the Islamic Family Law (HKI) Study Program at the University of Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM) last Thursday (7/7).
The National Commission for Women of the Republic of Indonesia (RI) Commissioner explained that mothers are still the party who contribute much to educating children. At the same time, my father was busy going to earn a living. In fact, according to him, a child needs the presence of a father figure in his growth and development.
"Not all household matters, and educating children should be left to the mother. There must be father's intervention to build a warm relationship between family members," she said.
In addition, she also explains some contemporary family problems. One of them is the high number of divorce lawsuits. Her research shows that many factors cause Indonesia's high divorce rate. Among them is disharmony in the family, still shackled by old culture and new threats of digital technology.
The development of increasingly advanced digital technology does not mean the problem will disappear. Instead, it creates new problems for today's families. Starting from increasingly massive bullying, harassment on social media, addiction, fraud, and a series of others. "Technology development brings up new solutions and ways and raises new problems. Let's see how now the closeness of parents and children feels less and even more focused on their respective devices, "she explained.
Not to mention the existence of a pandemic that adds to the burden and problems. It can be seen from the responsibility of education which burdens mothers because they have to understand all subjects, primarily if it works. In addition, domestic violence also continues to increase by 85% for women and 10% for men, even with the increasing percentage of child marriages.
"Patriarchal culture in Indonesia cannot be lost. There are still many mothers who carry heavy burdens. This is still the case because most men think their nature is only to earn a living, while women are housewives. This mindset needs to be changed. Both of them must help each other so that the built family improves," she added.
At the end of her presentation, Alim gave tips to restore the spirit of a sakinah family. One of them is to make the role of a father or mother flexible so that they can cover each other's shortcomings in a family. Then also, create a comfortable environment to create the concept of baiti jannati. Make the house a good place to live for physical and spiritual health. Finally able to understand the hobbies and preferences of each family member.
Meanwhile, Pradana Boy ZTF, MA., Ph.D. as the second speaker, explained the current family conditions, which have many challenges. For example, the family's view of the wife's salary is higher than the husband's, even with distant families, long-distance marriage (LDM), and a series of others.
Social change also changes people's behavior in their families. For example, parents are now more concerned and focused on careers. Meanwhile, their children are kept. Although some consider it not a problem, many families face these challenges.
"Moreover, social change is accompanied by technological developments that change people's habits, even with understanding the new ideology. So, new understandings and new steps in having a family need to be updated and understood," he concluded. (apg/haq/wil)
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