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| Ibnu Sutoko, S.Psi, M.Psi when giving a presentation at the Pedagogi Kritis Arunika (Trans: Critical Arunika Pedagogy) Event (Photo: Special) |
After dealing with a breakup, people usually feel lazy to do things. This includes working and studying. Why does this happen? A psychology lecturer at the University of Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM), Ibnu Sutoko, S.Psi, M.Psi, gave his explanation. According to him, love is one of the psychological needs of humans. Therefore, many psychological figures say that love and affection are needs that must be fulfilled. When a person loses something within himself, then this can cause a person to become lazy.
This lackluster state is related to the need for affection. If not treated properly, it can have serious consequences, such as the emergence of stress that causes a lot of thoughts, insomnia, and no appetite.
"When it's not treated properly, it will turn into depression. A person's mood will also usually become negative, crying often, and the desire to socialize decreases. It can certainly have a negative impact on daily life," she adds.
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Ibnu, as he is often called, said that people feeling heartbroken should immediately identify their emotions and measure their sadness. Usually, those who dissolve in sorrow cannot release their feelings or choose the wrong solution to their problems.
"Therefore, if there any problem, try to talk it with other people. Especially to the right people to let out our emotions. After verbally expressing buried emotions, the next step to do is do positive things as a distraction from the negative emotions experienced during a breakup. Then slowly the negative emotions will disappear. However, it should be noted that this effort must be accompanied by problem solving," he said.
Ibnu also emphasized that forgetting the memories that have occurred will be very difficult. The best thing to do is to accept the sadness. Thus, you will feel more relieved about the situation.
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"Then try to start real life again. Live the day so that life can get back on track. For example, by getting back to enjoying your hobbies or trying to achieve your goals," she says.
He also warns those who have gone through a breakup not to do anything negative when they are sad. Even if all efforts have been made, but there is no change, he suggests they go to professionals such as psychologists to help. (Put/Fat/Wil)
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