Lecturer of Faculty of Psychology, University of Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM) Hudaniah S.Psi. M.Si. (Photo: Special) |
The topic of the inner child is often discussed on social media. An inner child is an immatureness related to past traumas or agony that have not yet been resolved. Faculty of Psychology lecturer at the University of Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM) Hudaniah S.Psi. M.Si. said that the pain must be treated. It will be related to the quality of a person in the future.
“Even though it does not treated well, it might be recovered, but it took a long time and left painful traces. The traces can impact the personal life, such as overthinking, negative self-appraisal and became an unpleasant person. It may result in social unacceptability, lack of sensitivity and so on," she said.
One of the problems is inappropriate and less-than-optimal parenting during childhood. For example, experiencing a traumatic incident. Whether it's domestic violence, abandonment, or negligent care.
"These kinds of pain need to be treated with a number of steps. The first step is to establish social support. Getting support from friends, family, or joining a support group can help individuals feel less alone in their recovery journey," Hudan added.
Seeking help from professionals such as psychologists or counselors can help individuals to overcome trauma and suppressed emotions. In the therapy session, individuals are allowed to speak up and internalize their feelings with appropriate support and guidance.
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"The last is the practicing of forgiveness. Forgiving oneself and the parents who were involved in the past is an important step in breaking the negative cycle. Forgiveness helps to release the burden and allows the individual to move forward," she said.
Hudan also advised anyone with past traumas to keep trying to get better. "Keep moving. We are not like donuts that just stand still and grow. Recognize that the situations we face are not all what we want them to be. Thus we can continue to learn from experience so that we become more mature and empowered individuals," she added.
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Finally, she said that to break this chain. There must be preparation for prospective parents before deciding to get married. It all starts with the marriage decision, the regulation of solutions in marriage, conflict management, and the purpose of marriage itself.
"We must realize that there are consequences that arise after marriage, including the presence of children. How parents understand the presence of children. Parents must sacrifice their time and financial needs. This is a serious problem if it not prepared for. Children can become an stress release for immature parents," he concluded. (Put/Azm/Sil/Wil)